Here is a letter from one of our successful members. John gave us permission to share this with interested people. - Inna McNeill

Well, I wanted to wait until this started to settle down before writing a letter to report on the happenings since Elena's arrival.  It has been very interesting and most happy. You know some of this information so if I repeat things please forgive me. Elena arrived on the 5th of May.  I was worried that getting through customs in Houston might be a problem because of the problems we have had with the U.S. embassy in Moscow. However, that was not the case.  Her plane landed at 3:00 P.M. and she was with baggage and out of customs and immigration by 3:30.  I usually can not get my bags and out in 30 minutes!! Since Elena was hungry and she was now in Texas, we stopped on the way to the house and had Mexican food just to get her off to the right start for life in this state.  Since arrival, Elena has been traveling all over the eastern part of Texas to meet parents, friends, have our wedding on the 9th of June, see the sights and generally become accustomed to the flavor of the state.  She is adapting very well.  Every one loves her and she has made great impressions on all.  We were at a very formal party this past Saturday night with people dressed to the nines and she was the "bell of the ball".  She is really amazing at how well she adapts and presents herself. We went to San Antonio, one of my favorite cities, and went to a rock concert.  It was her first any where.  It was a wonderful experience under the stars (outside amphitheater) listening to Tom Petty.  It was really magic. I have season tickets to the Houston ballet and we have attended two. Elena and I both enjoy the ballet a great deal and she seems to really "light up" when in this environment.  We will see how she does with opera later in the year when the new season starts. Since arrival, Elena has been traveling all over the eastern part of Texas to meet parents, friends, have our wedding on the 9th of June, see the sights and generally become accustomed to the flavor of the state.  She is adapting very well.  Every one loves her and she has made great impressions on all.  We were at a very formal party this past Saturday night with people dressed to the nines and she was the "bell of the ball".  She is really amazing at how well she adapts and presents herself.	John ane Elena Married in Texas!
We went to San Antonio, one of my favorite cities, and went to a rock concert.  It was her first any where.  It was a wonderful experience under the stars (outside amphitheater) listening to Tom Petty.  It was really magic. I have season tickets to the Houston ballet and we have attended two. Elena and I both enjoy the ballet a great deal and she seems to really "light up" when in this environment.  We will see how she does with opera later in the year when the new season starts. Elena has never ridden a bicycle...so upon seeing the one I had...she wanted to learn.  I explained that it was a "boy's" bike and that it was too tall and that maybe we should find another one for her to learn on....she was head strong.  She is healing up nicely from the gouge on the leg and the bruised inner thighs.  We will attempt again with a different bike in the future.
	.  Elena had never ridden a motorcycle.  We have taken several rides on the Harley.  I think when I hear screaming from behind me that the sounds are screams of joy...I am not for sure??!! Elena has been studying for her written drivers test and will take that within the next week or two.  We have received the marriage certificate so we will visit the social security office tomorrow and apply for the card (she wanted it in her married name so we waited). I have started filling our a ton of INS forms and those will be going off soon.

Elena is also taking riding lessons.  There is a great equestrian center not far from the house and she is learning to ride.  What would you have her do in Texas?  She "sits" a horse very well.  In history there have been very many great Russian horseman and she must have inherited some of that blood line. My mother and father and brother and sister-in-law have fallen in love with Elena and she has been fully accepted into the family.  It warms my heart that it was just a matter of them spending 10-15 minutes with her and she was part of the family. We received a small kitten as one of our wedding presents.  Elena has been trying to "train" the kitten.  I do not think any one can train a cat but she is giving it her full attention.  I wish her luck.  Personally, I think the cat will eventually have Elena and myself trained to do its bidding. Already it is able to capture Elena's full attention while it plays with the toys that Elena makes for it. Speaking of making things...Elena can knit faster than most knitting machines and makes all sorts of things.  She also cross stitches all sorts of things at the rate of a sewing machine.  She seems to have this need to create something from nothing and so she will make things from time to time as the whim crosses her mind.

Here are some observations that I think might be characteristic of the Russian culture/Elena's experience that are interesting when juxtaposed again the American life style. 1.  The legality of a church wedding was something new for Elena.  I do not know about the other ladies but this was a major question. 2.  Elena has been overwhelmed by the quality of roads and the complexity of highways, clover leafs, and stacking of highways in the bigger cities. This has caused some fear about ever learning to get around.  Houston is mostly paved and I can understand the fear factor of getting lost and not being able to find ones way back home.  We also drive a lot faster here than in Russia.  Things can happen very quickly here at 70 mph.

In Sochi, John, Elena, Elena's daughter (also a member of our agency, Masha) and most of the staff, which if you're a member, you know quite well! From left to right, Julia, John, Masha, Elena, Irina, Inna, and Irina!

3.  Many Americans live in single dwelling homes.  These homes are located in the suburbs and these suburbs do not have the central shopping and accommodations that are found in Russia.  The lack of little cafes where one can just stop and have coffee and conversation is lacking.  These suburbs are not always located close to the cities or to places that one would want to go.  This is also hampered by the lack of public transportation and the need to drive just about everywhere.

4.  Americans produce a lot of inane movies and T.V. shows...I know this but that is what we have.  Elena is surprised that the quality of production (technical is good) of content is so poor.  I agree but that is what the masses want and they get a lot of it.

5.  People in Texas will start up a  conversation with any one, anywhere. They do not have to know you or have anything in common.  We just strike up conversation just to have conversation.  Elena is often times caught off guard from this.

6.  Waste...America is a "throw-away" society.  Our economy needs for us to be this way.  Russians are far more careful about what they throw away.  My apartment is filling up and we have to have discussions from time to time on what is needed and what can really be thrown out.  I do not need to keep 100's of little plastic bags that come from the grocery store.  I do not need all the little boxes that things are sent in to me.  I really refuse to save interesting jars that food stuffs once came in.....etc.

7.  Medicine...as Americans we can not buy the type of drugs over the counter that can be purchased in Russia at any pharmacy.  We also have a different view of going to the doctor and the money that is involved.  In some ways, I think that the Russians take more interest in natural healing processes (which I agree with) more than Americans.  Although I believe in herbs and minerals to prevent and treat ailments I do not think that Vodka is a great internal antiseptic that can be used in combination with just about anything to cure everything from colds to cancer. 

8.  Russians (for whatever reason) have more fear about the uncertainty of life than Americans.  It seems that they either have fear or are resigned to let "fate" run its course.  With all the positive that Elena has within her, she still seems to have fear.  Some of this is being in a new place and leaving so much behind.  However, I find that fear or resignation is prevalent and I work hard to remove that from her.

9.  Pumping gas and paying with a credit card at the pump.  This is a training issue that is really funny to watch.  The machine takes on a life of its own and I find Elena talking to the machine as if it understood. Add to this that sometimes there is a voice from the clerk inside and things can really get interesting.

10.  Almost instant communications...e-mail, telephone, cell phone, pager, etc.  It is possible to be in touch almost anywhere at any time with any one.  It is good and it is a form of prison.  Elena will have to discover for herself where the line is and make her own choices.

11.  Food....there is a great cultural divide.  I personally hate fast food...but most Americans live on the stuff.  Elena, having tried a little does not understand why people would eat the stuff. She came with the idea that Americans lived on hamburgers (and some do).  She has discovered that restaurants serve (for the most part) portions that she can not finish which drives her crazy in that she (like most Russian) do not waste anything.  I have not met a vegetable that I did not like.  I like them raw, boiled, broiled, stir fried, baked, etc.  So, I am easy to handle.  I do not eat any fish, seafood, meat, chicken etc. so I am also not one to care about those things.  I told Elena that she could have anything she wanted to eat.  I was not making a moral statement because I was vegetarian...I just think it is healthier for me.  Elena decided to give the veggie thing a try and found that she rarely wants the other.  However, she finds that most Americans eat poorly as far as quality.

12.  Use of alcohol...in Russia..it is everywhere and is used for everything.  It is celebration, it is coming home, it is anytime and anywhere.  Here in Texas we have dry cities, some dry counties, and all sorts of rules on the purchase of alcohol by location, time of day, day of week, alcohol content, etc.  There is also those who promote sobriety to a point of hesteria.  This is very confusing to Russians.  Oskana reported to Elena that after her wedding that no one wanted a drink and this made her feel a little like no one was happy.  She was a little sad that no one wanted to share the Russian Vodka that she had brought for the celebration. I am sorry that I was not there.  I had never really cared for Vodka until Elena showed up with some really good Russian Vodka and I like a little shot from time to time (I still do not think it cures anything nor is it needed to have good health).   There is this other little joy juice thing that Elena brought..Balsam...it is either a liqueur or distilled herbs. Again, it is supposed to help cure whatever is wrong with you.  It is interesting stuff and I like it but I do not think that we will be able to find it here in the U.S.

13.  Home sickness...it is real and needs to be helped by making communications to the homeland possible.  Elena was afraid to call because of cost.  I told her that the cost of her being home sick was worst than what the telephone bill would be.  I agree with what you had written earlier.  Not only let them call home...encourage them to call home. Selfishly...there is always great "communications" after Elena has had a chat with the home folks.  The connection to Russia and home should always be encouraged.  One of the many benefits of this type of marriage arrangement is to enrich the lives of BOTH the partners.  This combination of cultures is a wonderful thing as the strengths of each can be used and the weaknesses can be eliminated.  There is now more choice to life style and life living.  I would never want Elena to forget the homeland nor would I want to personally ignore the positive attributes of that very large and very old country and culture.

14.  Outside...for those coming from Sochi where the weather is good most of the year, walking outside as a form of exercise/entertainment was a way of life.  There were parks in almost every neighborhood and people were always out walking.  That is not the case here.  Elena finds this disappointing but I think when we move things will be a little better. Americans in general are not the walking types.  In Texas...this time of year is not good for waling because it is 100 degrees ourside.  There is this other thing...mosquitos that are big enough to spot on radar.  With the rain we have had, the flying blood suckers are out in force...they seem particularly fond of Russian blood types.

I am sure that you are tired of reading all this now so I will end.  It is a great experience that I am living and I think that it will continue for the rest of my life. Again, as always, I thank you both for making this possible. Elena and I send our best wishes for you and yours, John

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